I sure hope I do not live to regret this blog post (I guess this is not a good way to start my post...)
I have done more self evaluation in the last 12 months than at any other time in my life. I have learned to face my shortcomings and cultivate my strengths. Today, I want to be open and transparent and journal about something that I have been avoiding facing for a long time.
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a college football fan. More specifically, I am a Notre Dame Football enthusiast. I am not a fair weather fan, but a die-hard fanatical Notre Dame nut. I enjoy the exhilaration of victory and I mourn the agony of defeat. It has been no secret to those closest to me that my emotions could be vastly different depending on the outcome of the Notre Dame game on any given fall Saturday. In years gone by, it has been easy for me to pass this by as acceptable behavior because that is what real men do... they watch football and are happy if their team is on top and grouchy if their team struggles. By now, most everyone knows that the last two weeks have been particularly difficult for me with regards to the outcomes of the ND games and especially the way they have lost both games.
Since Saturday night after the huge kick in the gut that was the loss to Michigan, I really started having some introspection. I have been asking myself questions like:
Why is Notre Dame football so valuable to me that I let it impact my frame of mind and emotions?
Is Notre Dame football so important that I can excuse bad behavior?
Has Notre Dame football become an idol in my life?
If Notre Dame losing a game steals joy from me, should I detach myself from it?
Is Notre Dame ever gonna be relevant again (I know it doesn't fit with the rest of the questions, sorry...)
Does Notre Dame football impact me in a negative way?
After a Notre Dame loss do I model Christ-like behavior?
Do my wife and daughters believe I value Notre Dame football too much?
Does Notre Dame football cost me more than it is worth (not monetarily, rather in my life?)
After thinking about these questions and many others, I am not ready to make any rash decision, but I can tell you that my life does need change in this area like so many others. I am not here to say that Notre Dame football is bad (wait, I am not saying they are not bad, because at 0-2 with 9 turnovers in 2 games and 960 yards of total offense and only 51 points to show for it, they are bad.) I am not saying that any sport or sports in general are bad. What I am saying though is that if you or I put (fill in your favorite sport, hobby or recreation here) in a position over God, family, country etc. it is wrong.
I have reached one conclusion with regards to this. I have decided that until I have sorted all of this out and come to a place that I can be pleasing to God no matter the result of the Notre Dame game on any given weekend I will not watch another snap of any college football game. (Just so you know, I typed, deleted and re-typed that last sentence three times before I worked up the courage to leave it there in print.)
I have learned this year that change can be very painful, but whether it be with my weight, my priorities or any other of so many things; it is paramount to my health and relationship with God.
...wow... Just when you we thought you've raised the bar in discipline, you go and raise it again. Man, this was quite a convicting thing for me to read because I know how hard it is to have people read your words and keep you accountable. You'll be in my prayers Tim... fantastic!
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